If you have a guinea pig or plan to get one, you know that it will be with you for the rest of its life. Please make responsible decisions, not impulse buys, and always adopt if you can.

Below is what our 13 piggies have to say about a happy life

1: What we eat/drink


First and foremost: FEED US.


We need fresh veggies everyday. Some of our favorites are: parsley, parsley, parsley. Romaine lettuce, carrots, corn husks, cherry tomatoes, cucumber.

Feed us fruits in small amounts.



You  may make us work for the food, just don't keep us reaching and stretching for too long!


As you can see, we go a little crazy for anything green and juicy!




Did we mention parsley is one of our all time favorites?


Remember to wash those thoroughly first, we have sensitive tummies!





Please do not continuously snap snap snap photos while we are eating ...the flash is annoying!!


We usually don't mind sharing our food as long as there is plenty to go around.




We also need pellets every day. Please feed us a quality brand, such as OXBOW or Kleenmamas. It's best if you feed us at established times in the day, such as morning and night.









We are very grateful piggies and always say grace before our meals...







Rocks, stones and the sorts is not the proper diet!


We heard cave men eat stones, but not piggies.


They are, however, good for keeping our nails trimmed, but we will not be impressed if we find them in our food bowls!




You may "train" us to stand up and stretch. But again, don't keep it up on and on. After 2 seconds of "standing and stretching", we would appreciate you just dropping the food in front of us already!!







We are easily tempted and will display our cutest, most irresistible faces to beg for food!









....you better make sure we get the food!










If there is not enough yummies to go around, we will not share.


We repeat: we will tug and push and shove and snap to get at what is rightfully ours!!







Corn is yummy. But corn husks are better. Please wash corn husks thoroughly first!










You may place yummies in accessible spots around the cage.


We are usually pretty good with heights, provided they aren't too tall!!








One of the most important stable food for us piggies is HAY HAY HAY HAY HAY. YES, HAY!!!!


Hay must be fresh and sweet smelling!



Make sure there is hay in our cage at ALL times.


It is important to keep our digestive systems working, and to keep our pearly whites trim!







This is a hay rack, it is easily made by bending a grid. We are happy to stand up for food, and only for food.







Hay cubes are a big hit, too.


Make sure there is one cube per piggy (preferably 2 cubes per piggy)

so we do not have to go to the trouble of haycube-napping. it is a very tiresome task, the back and forth tugging!!





Of course, water is an absolute must. We need fresh water everyday.


FRESH, please! Boiled water (cooled to room temperature) is better than tapped water.




Make sure our living area doesn't get too stuffy and hot.


The air conditioner is on, here, as you can see the red switch. We like temperatures of around 17 degree celcius.






We drink a LOT in hot summer days, make sure there is more than just one water bottle!!










Do NOT make water inaccessible to us.


It is a very frustrating task trying to figure how to get the water out!!






We also need to ingest our own poopies now and then, they are healthy and full of nutrients! 









This is why you sometimes see us bent over like this










2: How to "cage" us

First of all, we do not like the term "cage".


We do not like cages at all, for that matter!


See here? this small cage makes us miserable and claustrophobic.


Cardboard boxes are absolutely unacceptable!! What an outrage!!


Do not blame us if we go to extreme measures of destruction....







THIS is what we prefer: a nice, spacious, open, colorful home! You may build multi levels so we can explore higher grounds!


Fleece is a wonderful bedding that we absolutely ADORE. They will also save money for you (cheaper than shavings) so you will have more money to buy parsley for us. no! Don't hoard the money to buy a milkshake, spend it on us!!



Our homes need to be cleaned out when it gets dirty. This is usually up to 3 x a week. We will try our best to be patient while you sweep up our poopies!






We do appreciate all the colors you decorate our home in...








We like "houses" and cozies so we have somewhere to snuggle in for a nap (more on that later)









This is what we expect our home is be life, ALL the time! spotless!


Do not blame us if we poop in random places. We are not easily litter trained, preferring to be spontaneous and unpredictable!




Hmm...now this is a bad choice for fleece: doraemon?!


We are rodents! he is a FELINE! tsk tsk, very poor judgment.

however, the tunnels and hidies are a big hit with us!






3. Our behavior and social lives

Yes! we said social. Please do not keep a lone piggy...we will get lonely and depressed










Us cavies are very chit chatty animals, we live in herds and groups and love to chatter about our neighbors and celebrity gossip!









We are curious, inquisitive, photogenic critters!










We like to stick together and feel safe in eachother's company..








 Our hearing and sense of smell is very well developed, far more superior than you humans! We can detect sounds and smells from far distances, so don't even think about hiding that bunch of parsley from us!!




Told you we are curious and inquisitive.


Sometimes annoying too





We love our roomies and will always be there for eachother ?








 Needless to say, we are loyal animals. And we will be loyal to you if you give us the chance to love and cuddle!







We are prey animals, so naturally like to hide and run away from danger. We know you will pose no danger to us, but we will still be skittish at times. Please provide plenty of shelter in our home so we can make sure those scary hawks out the window won't snatch us!! ><''



We are bubbly little creatures and love to play around with eachother.










When we are tired, we will flop down and have a chat about the latest computer games coming out.


We enjoy playing Super Mario Bros very much.


The girls always win, don't know why.




We like to snuggle together in our comfy houses and blankets...








There will be the occasional squabble, but that's almost always the men being annoying and bothersome!


We ladies just need to defend ourselves!!




Just because there are babies in the cage, doesn't mean we will willingly give up our cozy houses!









We will bicker now and then. Maybe even have a falling out...








And like we said (we=ladies talking), it's always because the men are chasing after us when we are not in da mood!!  







It is VERY VERY important to NEUTER or SPAY one of us if you plan to put a male and female together.


We will take up to a month to recover after the surgery. Please take extra care of us and love us when we are not feeling well.


When boars are aroused, we will mount each other...there is not much you can do to stop us, so Don't!








You are free to entertain yourself with our bizarre dance moves,though!







We go head to head sometimes...









Sometimes, boars will not get along. In fact, most of the time they don't, being naturally territorial.


In those cases, you need to separate us to avoid us fighting, since we are very macho pigs!


Either get us neutered and house us with ladies (the best option!!!!!) or try to pair us up with another boy. Just DON't leave us on our own...we get lonely



4. We are the most photogenic animals in the WORLD

You are free to dress us up and take cute photos of us, we prefer to meet our fans when you publish our pics in the front cover of VOGUE







ELLE magazine is also fine with us.


If you can, contact Ms. JK Rowling for us, we would like to submit our version of Harry Pigger, which is so much better than your human version!




Even if you have fun dressing us up, please remember that piggies do not wear clothes or collars or leashes, we prefer to be in our own skin and go "all natural". Don't keep us restrained in clothing for more than a few minutes!




Again, we tolerate you entertaining yourself with our gorgeous outlooks...but we don't like posing for long periods of time!







These animal skin beds are wonderful. We hope they are not real!


As we are animal activists!!





Yes, we are quite very charming.








These beds are very appreciated, we love the colors and the softness.


We usually don't chew or destroy our beds, having a high level of gratitude for our wonderful masters and the money they spend on us...in return, we ask for lots of cuddles and lifelong love!!



Yes, Star Wars is rather popular among the piggy world, too.








Be understanding of our bad hair days!










And we would like to be undisturbed while snoozing....








Do not make fun of us when we engage in "strange" behavior such as chest-hair-eating









chest hair tugging...










cloning ... 








5. Do not scare us with loud sounds....we can be skittish

Thank you for the soft bedding you provide us...we love to stretch out and show you our chubby, relaxed faces. We are sure it is equally gratifying for you....RIGHT?







When we have had enough of your cuddles and "goochy gaga" language, we will politely turn out heads away take a hint and buzz off!






This is a typical posture of








We trust you, and will close our eyes and nap.


Do not scare us with loud sounds or sudden movements, it will make us nervous and paranoid!







The warm sunshine is always nice on our bums, but we also prefer cool AC in the summer.

thank you.


(and heater in the winter - duh)




Be very quiet while we are sleeping, we do not like being startled awake!!!










And you cannot find an excuse and say you didn't know we were napping, because...







We will make it VERY OBVIOUS TO YOU that we are ready for a snooze








And that you should leave us alone!









 6. Cuddles and snuggles

We enjoy lap time very much.


Do not be mad if we have accidents once in a while, we will usually make our need to pee known by nibbling your shirt, or not settling down.


If we are fidgety and restless, put us back in our cage so we can do our business!!!! Piggies are small, which means we have small bladders, too.




Cradling is nice. Don't squeeze too hard! ><''









We LOVE chin scratches and will gladly lift our heads up for a scratch!








We will purr with delight and comfort...







...that is our way of saying ...









I  ? you

and that we are having fun







7. Bath time

Bath time, on the other hand, is not exactly fun for us.


Remember to use gentle piggy-friendly shampoo on us, preferably custom ordered from Gorgeous Guineas. Human baby shampoos are also fine.






Be careful not to get soap and water into our eyes, nose, and ears!!


Gentle, warm water, please. We have sensitive skin.





The most important thing is: KEEP US WARM AFTER THE SHOWER! Give us a quick blow dry, wrap us up with a blanket and preferably a warm water bottle for us to snuggle against =)

Long haired piggies need more care and attention paid to our beautiful, luscious locks!


Brush our hair  few times a week to remove stray hairs and keep it smooth and tangle free




You will need to trim our nails about once a month.


Please be very careful because if you cut too far and into the quick, it hurts Hold us firmly like this, and remember to give us yummy treats afterwards for being so cooperative....





8. PAMPER us

We expect you to buy mountains and mountains of colorful cozies for us.


We like to curl up in them for naps or eat our poopies in there! They are especially warm in the cold winter months...




There will be no guarantee that we will always know how to use them.







Eventually, we will warm up to them and pick out our favorite napping beddies!!







Make sure there are plenty to go around, we do not share.










Thank you again for spending so much money on us, we know we are worth it. DUH.








Love us, just like we love our own kind







Learn to admire our beauty...








and cuteness!!!!









When you take us to the vet, put us in a nice carrier. It should be brightly colorful, with snugly blankets inside!!!!


Again, we do not like to share. Ladies need space to stretch their legs out!




Please remove this bold intruder!!








9. How the system works

As I'm sure everyone knows, the women are the bosses around this place!


We are authoritative and assertive!






When we are having a crammy day, do NOT disturb us or bother us, simply lie from afar and admire our breathtaking beauty.






We keep fit by doing stretching exercises, such as hammock-pressing







Food usually gets us all worked up and motivated.









Not that the men in the house ain't absolutely irresistible, too!!


Give me a kiss!!






But no doubt the girls have the sexiest leggies!!








We also practice our dance moves to keep in shape..!!







It is so much cooler than your "hip hop"


*rolls eyes*





When we are irritated, we may bite the bars.


This usually means we want some attention, or fresh juicy greens, please!







If we are in a really bad mood, we will pee and poo on you to make our frustration known!


You are obviously not allowed to be pissed or annoyed. Simply give us whatever we want, whenever we want it.




Like we said...the ladies are the boss...









Some of our poor gentlemen are constantly harassed...







and thrown off the bed completely!








Don't blame the ladies.


Blame mother nature.

Blame PMS.





The women get their way...and the men will just have to make do.







Simple as that!








Some of the information in books are misleading.


Such as when they say males are bigger than females on average. That is not necessarily the case all the time....we have a number of "undersized males" in the house! (No names mentioned *cough* Puffy....)



Anyway, we are still social animals, we love each other and prefer the company.


Although the women will never admit it...







10. Love us unconditionally...and FOREVER

After having said so much, we just want to say that we ?????? you, and always will. Please love us back, be there for us when we are unwell, popcorn with us when we are happy, and enjoy every moment we spend together....


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