What's the meaning of life, Snoopy?
"oh okay! hang on just a sec, I'll show you"
"wait wait, it's coming it's comin'..."
"The meaning of life, lies in the Essence of the Poop"
Right. I'm just going to make a mental note to never go to this pig for advice. She's like Joey from Friends. All things edible.
"hey mom! I know! I know what's the meaning of life!"
"scoring with the ladies"
"*cough*, you mean *trying* to score?"
So let's all sit down with a pen and pad, and jot down the following notes in professor Minipuff's lecture on life:
"All seated then? okay. We shall begin. The MEANING of (a pig's) Life IS..."
Show your best side
Make your intentions known:
"you're not gonna bugger off with that camera? fine. you still lose"
But BE ferocious
Dare to confront your enemies
Don't back down
Master the I'm-so-innocent-of-course-it-wasn't-me Look
Stand your ground
"no you will NOT be taking anymore photos of me today!"
Be in search of new opportunities
Be good to humans, because they are the food source
Stay in your comfort zone, because we are pigs and the humans worry about the danger zone
Be ready to receive love :
No need to give love :
No need to share
(These following are contributed by the daddy):
Cherish rare occasions when the lady gives you the comfier spot
Because these moments are truly very rare...
And it's only a matter of time before they kick you out (or to the back)
Choose the right side
Endure bad hair days. They happen
Yawn to your heart's content
L♥ve your life
and l♥ve your wives
(back to Minipuff):
But more importantly, scare off intruders to YOUR tunnel
If they come in from the back,
>> Fart <<
"...Um, I just want to clarify, those evil-genes of hers did NOT come from me. The only thing she inherited from me are my good looks. All that visciousness? Ask the mother"
"May I help you?"